Romance is in the Ass part II

Melanjutkan sesi pertama kemarin, sekarang saya akan memberi My Top 5 Most Fucked Up Moments sepanjang hidup percincaan saya. Bacanya boleh sambil dengar Gloomy Sunday seluruh versi, kencang-kencang, atau pakai headset aja gapapa.

Untuk menyelamatkan karakter orang-orang yang bersangkutan dalam cerita berikut, maka keterangan waktu dan lokasi akan saya samarkan. Jadi santai aja ya, tan, mantan. Yak berikut 'daftar dosa' si para mantans:

5. Nggak lama setelah putus. Mantanmu telpon dan bilang, "Sorry ya kalo gue ada salah sama lo, kalo ntar ada apa-apa doain gue aja," beberapa jam kemudian kamu dengar dia kecelakaan dengan motornya, dan lengan-bahunya patah. Trus aku kudu opo?

4. One of my ex ever made a fake FB profile as a woman that convinced me as his best friend. And everyday 'she' tried to get in touch with me, made up some stories -- such as that my ex had a heart attack because of he's too sad being broken heart (?), or that my ex gave up his scholarship in Netherland (or Germany?) because of he's wanted to be with me, yeah, just to made me feel guilty and wanting to make it up again. And, NO, it won't work for me.

3. Dealing with the-almost-always-late ex BF for 3.5 years (LOL, I know!). The top record was: when no BF showed-up at your graduation day. He's asleep, or forgot, or just late. Not sure.

2. It's when you just falling in love for your new BF, and it's a long distance relationship. And you just wish that the relationship were going to be last forever. Your 1st until 3rd day were okay, until the alien bring your BF out from the earth for 10 days after. And then at the 14th day he called and said, "I think that we can't be together, since my best friend still falling in love with you". WTF, Dude?!

1. Imagine this. You just heard the news that one of your ex was just passed away (after 5 days of comma) last night, and your BF is nowhere to find since three days or so (no text, phone calls and else). Until you decide to come to his house, bring him food and to check if he's ok and else, and then you get into the house by the key from si Mbak, right after you find him in his room, and then he yelled at you, "WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE? IT'S MY HOUSE, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK SI MBAK TO GIVE YOU THE KEY, YOU SHOULD ASK FOR MY FUCKING PERMISSION" strictly with exact WTF-ARE-YOU-DOING-HERE-I-WANT-YOU-TO-GO-AWAY-NOW look in his face. Without you even knowing the fucking reason. It's even weird, because you always showed-up like that. Plus that he's telling you that, "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ME, IT'S MY FUCKING BUSINESS, NOT YOURS," thing, just right after you told him that you worried if anything happened to him. Weirder, huh? So then I just called the fucking cab, hold my fucking tears off and get out his fucking house and never come back. Ever.

Ya gitu lah. Pada akhirnya itulah jatuh cinta, nggak akan dinamakan jatuh cinta kalau nggak pakai 'jatuh'. Nggak akan ngerasa cinta kalau nggak dipake jatuh-jatuh dulu. HUAHAHAHA.. Nggak bisa bayangin ya saya ngomong beginian?

(Sek tak ngguyu sek)

Maybe my stories weren't that fucked-up as you thought.

I know.

Nggak berlebihan sih kalau ada yang bilang bahwa only love that breaks your heart, atau those you love the most can hurt you the worst. Because it's true. It's fucking true.